Friday, March 18, 2005

My Incredibly Talented Sister II (Really 3)

My sister posted a new song on her myspace.com site! I urge anybody who reads this to go listen to her song (not that anyone is reading this but I least I'm making and effort!!! Anyways.

She has another performance coming up where she gets to do a 45min set!!! I'm so excited for her and sooo bumbed that going and seeing it just isn't in the budget (hmmm get a house, or fly to colorado to see my sister's show - unfortunately I think my husband would what getting a house to come first.)

Anyways. The new songs is more a rough draft so keep that in mind. But you can sooo hear the potential. If she ever got a record deal and got real equipment to work on and people who did this for a living helping her she would so rock!

Love you STEPHANIE RAE!!!!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Reliving History (over and over and over and over and over and . . .)

Jim, my best friend besides my husband, called today asking if I would be willing to talk with my ex-fiancée's current girlfriend. Turn's out Mike (the ex) is still a pathological liar (my own diagnosis, and no, I am not a licensed psychologist or anything) and lost his temper and threw a bottle of lotion. Trish, the current girlfriend, is now nervous and confused. Since this is Mike's usual "MO" Jim seems to think that Trish should talk to me to find out what Mike has done in the past so she can decide her future. This is sooooo nuts. And not the first time in seven years that I've had to do it!!!! Yes, seven years. You'd think that after seven years I wouldn't be expected to help with Mike's love life any more!

I'm married, I have kids, I have a LIFE.

Oh well. I don't really care. I stopped caring a long time ago. I think I stopped caring when I met my husband six years ago.

But Jim still hangs out with Mike sometimes. Though Jim does not consider Mike his best friend anymore (Mike strikes again and betrayed him oh, about 2 years ago) Jim doesn't really mind hanging out with him still, just doesn't believe anything he says any more (most of the time.) But Jim is still Mike's best friend, so when Mike's girlfriends start having problems with Mike they turn to Jim for an explanation because Jim is Mike's closest friend. Jim then turns to me because he figures I know Mike better then anyone.

But it's not just Jim. Mike had the first girl he dated after we broke up call me (gave her my number!) so she could find out what he's like and decide ahead of time if she wants to give it a go. Who does that? Who has their new girlfriend call their ex-girlfriend to discuss the ended relationship? (Fiancée, whatever.) Mike's just cookoo in the head but won't accept it and get help.

I feel I understand why Mike's the way he is. He had a crappy, screwed up childhood (his mother's honest-to-god insane.) and I don't think he sets out to hurt anyone. He just can't help himself.

He's self-destructive, and tends to take innocent bystanders down with him. But like I said, he doesn't intentionally try to hurt anyone. I just didn't think I needed to sacrifice myself on the alter of Michael.

I haven't actually had to see Mike in over 2 years, not since before this screwed up guy became a father to twins, luckily with limited visitation rights. I so feel sorry for Nicole (the twin's mother). Mike's told the same story to her that he told me when we were dating (I, i.e. Mike, can't have kids). Unfortunately the lie backfired for her (I thank my lucky stars everyday that it wasn't me tied to him for life!)

Rereading this Blog it sounds like I still have issues concerning Mike. I don't think I do, at least not serious ones. I even had a psychologist tell me I was the most well adjusted person she's met in a long time and wished all her clients had their head on as strait (except she'd be out of a job) (the meetings were job related and it turned out there was no need for them, but since I had never visited a psychologist before I thought it would be interesting, and I think everyone wants confirmation that their as sane as they think they are!) It's just that I think the story of him (MIKE) is so unbelievably crazy, insane, almost to the point of hilarious if it weren't true. Maybe one of these days I will do an entry listing his lies (there are some doozies!) or one chronicalizing our relationship, or even just a thesis on Mike - history and why he is the way he is. No one would ever believe it, but it would be quite a story.

Be back later! See ya!

P.S. Jim called back later to tell me that Trish was getting a little overwhelmed being pressured to talk to someone she didn't know and betraying a person she wasn't sure deserved it yet. I think Jim's been through this too many times and has gotten too efficient in trying to fix these things. Jim's going to back off and not try to fix Mike's love life anymore, and I'm off the hook unless Trish changes her mind. Yeah : )

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Responsible, Reshmonsible

I guess this is really about self-control, and my lack of it.

Last night I stayed up until 1am watching tv, mostly because I was up until after twelve folding laundrey which is because I didn't start until 7pm. I didn't start the laundrey until 7pm because I went to the store @ 4pm. I went to the store because I had just spent the rest of the day being lazy and just didn't want to work on laundrey yet, but I did want to go to the store and spend money I didn't need to spend.

Now I'm exhausted and I have a headache at work, which I was late arriving because I daudled over getting out of bed and ready this morning.

I wish there was a magic spell or wish or something to make me start doing things when I should be doing them instead of waiting until I better do them or else!

Yes, I am a procastinator.

I have been a procastinator since before I can remember. My house is always a mess, dishes always need doing, bills always need paying, papers always need filing.

And they let me have kids.

Look at it! I'm typing this instead of working right now.

My biggest problem is I'm tired and overweight (my picture is pre-kids, sorry.) You know, I'm tired of complaining right now. Maybe more latter.

Thanks.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

This stinks.

I just spent 20mins crabbing and just lost it all. Figures, just as well I suppose. I didn't need to post it on the internet anyways. Not that anyone would read it anyway, but . . . I don't know.

I guess I'm just not in a very good frame of mind tonight.

I'll try posting again another time.

Sorry.

Friday, February 25, 2005

My Incredibly Talented Sister!

My sister is so incredibly talented! You can see her and hear her music on myspace.com
- http://www.myspace.com/stephanierae. I can see her being the next big thing, although no American Idol for her!

Now that I have figured out how to post my picture via bloggerbot, I'm going to try to post her music! If you like it make sure you let her know on her site!

Love ya bunches!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

What's the "Motto" with You?

"Happiness, at best, is an illusory goal.
It is not a destination; it is a manner of traveling. Happiness is not an end in
itself. It is a by-product of working, playing, loving, living."

- Haim Ginott

This is my creed, my motto, my . . . whatever you want to call it. So many people complain about the bad stuff, or how they'll be happy when such and such a thing happens, and it seems that when they died, they had never reached that happiness they were waiting for. If you're waiting for happiness it may never come, but if you live every day to the best it can be, aren't you already there?

(There are many people with good reason for not being happy, tragedy is a part of life and I do not mean to minimize it. But there are many others that have never had anything truly tragic happen to them, but because they haven't won the lottery yet, they feel like their life s*cks, get off your but and be happy with what ya' got!)

In everyday life, you either choose to be happy or you choose to be miserable, and what moron chooses to be miserable?!

Are you helpless? Make your own happiness! Need help? Let me know!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

A Real Person

My mother-in-law emailed this story to me, it was so sweet it made me cry.

A Real Person
When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.
"Information."
"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.
"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.
"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.
"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.
"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."
"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.
I said I could.
"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.
After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul always remember that there are other worlds to sing in"

Somehow I felt better.
Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."
"Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?" I asked.
All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.
"Information."
I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"
There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."
I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"
I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."
Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information." I asked for Sally.
"Are you a friend?" she said.
"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."

Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Paul?"
"Yes," I answered.
"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you."
The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."
I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.
Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.
Whose life have you touched today?
Why not pass this on? I just did....
Lifting you on eagle's wings. May you find the joy and peace you long for.
Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.
I loved this story and just had to pass it on. I hope you enjoy it and get a blessing from it just as I did