Reliving History (over and over and over and over and over and . . .)

Jim, my best friend besides my husband, called today asking if I would be willing to talk with my ex-fiancée's current girlfriend. Turn's out Mike (the ex) is still a pathological liar (my own diagnosis, and no, I am not a licensed psychologist or anything) and lost his temper and threw a bottle of lotion. Trish, the current girlfriend, is now nervous and confused. Since this is Mike's usual "MO" Jim seems to think that Trish should talk to me to find out what Mike has done in the past so she can decide her future. This is sooooo nuts. And not the first time in seven years that I've had to do it!!!! Yes, seven years. You'd think that after seven years I wouldn't be expected to help with Mike's love life any more!

I'm married, I have kids, I have a LIFE.

Oh well. I don't really care. I stopped caring a long time ago. I think I stopped caring when I met my husband six years ago.

But Jim still hangs out with Mike sometimes. Though Jim does not consider Mike his best friend anymore (Mike strikes again and betrayed him oh, about 2 years ago) Jim doesn't really mind hanging out with him still, just doesn't believe anything he says any more (most of the time.) But Jim is still Mike's best friend, so when Mike's girlfriends start having problems with Mike they turn to Jim for an explanation because Jim is Mike's closest friend. Jim then turns to me because he figures I know Mike better then anyone.

But it's not just Jim. Mike had the first girl he dated after we broke up call me (gave her my number!) so she could find out what he's like and decide ahead of time if she wants to give it a go. Who does that? Who has their new girlfriend call their ex-girlfriend to discuss the ended relationship? (Fiancée, whatever.) Mike's just cookoo in the head but won't accept it and get help.

I feel I understand why Mike's the way he is. He had a crappy, screwed up childhood (his mother's honest-to-god insane.) and I don't think he sets out to hurt anyone. He just can't help himself.

He's self-destructive, and tends to take innocent bystanders down with him. But like I said, he doesn't intentionally try to hurt anyone. I just didn't think I needed to sacrifice myself on the alter of Michael.

I haven't actually had to see Mike in over 2 years, not since before this screwed up guy became a father to twins, luckily with limited visitation rights. I so feel sorry for Nicole (the twin's mother). Mike's told the same story to her that he told me when we were dating (I, i.e. Mike, can't have kids). Unfortunately the lie backfired for her (I thank my lucky stars everyday that it wasn't me tied to him for life!)

Rereading this Blog it sounds like I still have issues concerning Mike. I don't think I do, at least not serious ones. I even had a psychologist tell me I was the most well adjusted person she's met in a long time and wished all her clients had their head on as strait (except she'd be out of a job) (the meetings were job related and it turned out there was no need for them, but since I had never visited a psychologist before I thought it would be interesting, and I think everyone wants confirmation that their as sane as they think they are!) It's just that I think the story of him (MIKE) is so unbelievably crazy, insane, almost to the point of hilarious if it weren't true. Maybe one of these days I will do an entry listing his lies (there are some doozies!) or one chronicalizing our relationship, or even just a thesis on Mike - history and why he is the way he is. No one would ever believe it, but it would be quite a story.

Be back later! See ya!

P.S. Jim called back later to tell me that Trish was getting a little overwhelmed being pressured to talk to someone she didn't know and betraying a person she wasn't sure deserved it yet. I think Jim's been through this too many times and has gotten too efficient in trying to fix these things. Jim's going to back off and not try to fix Mike's love life anymore, and I'm off the hook unless Trish changes her mind. Yeah : )